BN Hot Topic: As a Bridesmaid, How Far Would You Go to Please the Bride?

For a bride, the bridal train is perhaps one of the most important group of people to grace her wedding, and for many ladies, being on their friend’s bridal train is an honour. In a way, it shows that your friend thinks highly of you to make you her bridesmaid.

Behind those peng photos of the bridesmaids and the uniformity of their outfit, a lot of planning, contributions, and decision-making go into it. Should we wear a purple or blue dress? Native attire or English wear? Long or short gown? Some go as far as wearing the same shoes, jewelries, accessories or making the same hair. While some brides leave their bridesmaids to make the decisions concerning their outfit, other brides already have an idea of how they want their bridal train to look like, and expect the bridesmaid to comply with it. But how far can you go, as a potential bridesmaid, to please your friend, the bride?

Linda (not real name) was so excited when her friend asked her to be a part of the bridal train. Her friend wanted a yellow gown, Linda hates the colour yellow but she doesn’t mind wearing it for her friend’s big day. Then her friend requested for a blue shoe and purse, Linda does not have these but because of her friend, she purchased a blue shoe and a blue purse. A few days to her wedding, Linda, who is wearing dreadlocs, receives a call from her friend who says she’d love her to wear a wig on that day because “all the other ladies are wearing wigs and your hair will make you look different.” Linda rejects this immediately; as far as she is concerned, she has made enough sacrifices. 

An argument ensues; the friend believes it will cost Linda nothing to wear the wig, after all it is just for one day. Linda, on the other hand, says her hair is a huge part of her, she hasn’t worn a wig in 9 years and asking her to wear one now is equal to asking her to wear a different identity just because she wants to be your bridesmaid. 

What would you do if you were Linda? Make this ‘sacrifice’ for your friend or simply be yourself and wear your natural hair? Pull out of the bridal train? Or simply show up on that day with your dreadlocs?

Inasmuch as brides want their bridal train to be picture perfect, shouldn’t the comfort, financial capacity, desires of your friend be put into consideration? At the same time, what do you do if you have fantasised about how you want certain things to be in your wedding and one of your bridesmaids does not fit into this dream of yours? Do you say “Hey Linda, sorry, I’ll have to drop you off my bridal train”, or do you simply overlook it and let Linda do her hair however she likes? If you are so particular about certain hairstyles, why did you ask Linda to be a bridesmaid when you know she doesn’t wear wigs?  

If you were Linda, would you wear the wig for your friend’s wedding? After all, wearing a wig for one day won’t kill you. Or would you stand your ground and say “look, this is me, you either accept me or you don’t. I wouldn’t change myself just to please you?”

What to do?

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Photo by Wayne Fotografias from Pexels