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Aunty Bella: Ms. Should I Marry Him?
Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.
We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.
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You are doing a good job BellaNaija. I’m writing on behalf of my sister-in-law who is at a crossroad. I will try to be as precise as possible. She has been separated and not divorced from her legal husband over five years now with three children. The husband abandoned her and the children with her mother (my mother-in-law) without taking financial responsibility over any of them up till date. That’s a story for another day. My husband pays the school bills of one of the children however, and she also struggles on her own to cater to the needs of the remaining two children. She likes me a lot and confides in me, hence, her reason for seeking my advice on this difficult issue I’m about to share.
You are doing a good job BellaNaija. I’m writing on behalf of my sister-in-law who is at a crossroad. I will try to be as precise as possible. She has been separated and not divorced from her legal husband over five years now with three children. The husband abandoned her and the children with her mother (my mother-in-law) without taking financial responsibility over any of them up till date. That’s a story for another day. My husband pays the school bills of one of the children however, and she also struggles on her own to cater to the needs of the remaining two children. She likes me a lot and confides in me, hence, her reason for seeking my advice on this difficult issue I’m about to share.
She recently met a Nigerian muslim man (we are christians) in his early 50s who just relocated from Kuwait to settle down and start up his own business in Nigeria. According to her, the man has been honest about his past. The man is divorced from his first wife who is in the UK. He has a child from the marriage and the child lives with the mother in the UK. He was with another woman in Kuwait (non-Nigerian) and they also have a child together but the woman refused to come down with him to Nigeria. She prefers to stay in Kuwait to raise their child according to him. They have a mutual agreement to live separetely.
Now, this man has been financially helpful to my sister-in-law and promises to take care of her and all her needs and also help train one of her three children up on till university level but not without my sister-in-law marrying him legally and having atleast a child for him. She doesn’t wish for more children, at the same time she doesn’t want this opportunity to slide. Note that the man is financially capable.
Please share your thoughts on how to advice her. Thank you.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime
