Aunty Bella: Miss. Can’t Choose

Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.

Dear Aunty Bella,
I am at a crossroad in making an important decision and I need advice before I take any further steps.
My story is this; I have various male friends and a lot of them like me but that isn’t the issue. My issue is with 3 specifically.
Man A likes me very much. He has liked me for so many years and he respects me as a lady and as an individual. He has the qualities I’ve always wanted. He ticks the boxes well expect maybe he could be taller. I enjoy his company and our conversations always make me smile. My only issue is that, I don’t have feelings for him. I don’t like him like that. I’ve tried to see if the feelings would grow but nothing. I talk with him but that is it. I’ve even tried to imagine us together but the imaginations end up being blank.

Man B is a very close friend of mine. We’ve been very close for years and we have an unexplainable bond. We talk about everything to each other. I mean, everything- things we don’t tell anyone else. His own issue now is that he has a girlfriend. Not just that, it is pretty serious. We have never talked to each other about our feelings at all. I feel like he has and probably still likes me but he is not saying so because of his present commitment and because he has passed comments in the past about him knowing I don’t see him in that manner. On my own part, I’ve never said anything to him about how I feel either. That would not be womanly. The friendship has been platonic until when I started catching feelings which I think he has had and tried to indirectly say in the past. He also thinks that I deserve the best and that person is someone better than him. I don’t want to ruin his relationship that has brewed for many years even though it has had its issues but a lot of people who know us think we make a perfect match and would end up together. But when would that be?

Man C is also a close friend of mine. We have been friends for many years too. I am free with him and can say anything and do anything with him. I like him and we are just great friends. He understands me too. The problem is we have different views in life and our religions are not really the same. If not, it would have been ok.
Please which man do I go for? And what do I do? There are others but these 3 stand out clearly. I know some people may say none but these 3 are good options because no one in life is perfect. I need advice guys. I’ve prayed about it and I felt like I could get some good advice on here. Please don’t judge or insult me. I just really need to know what steps to take next. Help me out.

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