Aunty Bella: Miss Frigid?

Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice as well.

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I’m kinda shocked I’m doing this but I just need to. Okay, so the other night I was talking to my friend and was complaining about not having anyone. She told me that all the guys we know think I’m beautiful but that I’m also FRIGID(emphasis placed on purpose), picky and I behave like an old woman. They actually said that I have no sex
appeal. That statement shocked me because I’ve always considered myself to be open and nice to guys.

I’m 20, have had only two boyfriends and is obviously a virgin. When I first enter a relationship with a guy, everything is great and all but then as the relationship wears in, I cannot stand them touching me. I don’t want to do anything sexual with them. I actually cringe when they try to touch me. I even start to dislike them. I haven’t been exactly sexually abused as a kid, save for once in junior secondary school when my breasts were fondled by an older man atop a
motorcycle on my way from school. I was totally helpless and embarrassed.

Not like I don’t have sexual feelings at all; I have so many fantasies and I do self stimulation sometimes. I enjoy it but I find that there is a part of me that feels very uncomfortable with my body, sex, men and sexual conversations.

I have also always considered myself the ugly friend but everyone keeps telling me that looks are not the problem.
I’m feeling lately that I do not want to be touched by other people. Even kisses don’t stimulate me anymore and self stimulation doesn’t make me orgasm anymore.
Please help! What exactly is wrong with me?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Elena Elisseeva