Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Love in This Cubicle

One fundamental thing you’re told in a writing workshop or training is “Write What You Know”. This comes on the heel of “Show Don’t Tell”. The idea is that you’re more comfortable writing about stuff that your consciousness and subconsciousness is immersed in. It is for this reason that I like to steer clear of writing about love , relationships and all the nuances attached to them. However, I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of office romance. You go to a new office, spot a hot guy/babe, start casing the mark for signs of possible challenges… and then, you ask her to lunch or coffee.

Since it wasn’t a subject I’m familiar with, I tweeted that I wanted to write about office romance and I wanted people to share their experiences on the subject with me. A BN reader nicely obliged and sent me an email with her experience. I don’t have her permission to quote her verbatim, so I’ll try and paraphrase as accurately as possible.

She dated her colleague, and for 6 months of the relationship it was all nice and kosher. Although they kept the relationship under wraps at work, they hung out over the weekend. When the relationship ended, her work place became a nightmare. Thankfully, he got another job and left. However, that wasn’t the end of it. Some months later, the guy was getting married and everybody at work was talking about the wedding.

The relationship lasted for two years, during which she had the joy of seeing her man at work every day.

As an ex-Greys Anatomy fan, I found the relationship dynamics on the show very interesting. While I was conscious of the fact that it was a TV show, I imagined that one had limited options when one spent 18 hours of the day with a certain set of people. The chances of romance brewing are very high, and as such it becomes difficult to stick to the rule of “Don’t take a dump where you eat”.

Someone said that one of the advantages of having your partner with you at work was the fact that you could have a quick sexual fix during the day – if you had a sudden itch. Someone also said that one of the advantages is that your partner gets your work situation and it makes for easier conversations after work. {Why can’t we just leave work at work, biko?}

Another element of dating in the work place is the ability to separate work life from personal life. In situations where you’re working closely with your boo, and she gave a crappy presentation. Does correcting her objectively creep into the bedroom later that night? Or if your boyfriend is your boss and in assigning tasks, he gives you the task that will have you crunching numbers late into the night…

Some offices have a standing policy against romance in the work place and if you are sure you want to pursue an amorous relationship, one of you has to start job hunting. In this tough economic climate, the love must be strong for that to happen. I’ve heard stories of how someone gave up her job at a Lagos bank because of her boo, and immediately she left, one babe started bringing coffee and biscuits to his table. No job. No man.

These streets are too tough!

Please share some of your office romance experiences with us – the pros, the cons, the whole 9 yards. Also, if you’ve just never been in an office where there was someone worth your attention, share that too. Also, if you’re studying, we can apply this to classmates and flatmates too (I think)

Have a fabulous and positive week ahead. Remember to stand strong, stand tall and try to add value to someone else’s life.

Special shout out to Z. who sent me that email. You rock!

Peace, love & cupcakes.

Toodles!

Photo Credit: hellobeautiful.com

________________________________________________________________________________________
Atoke – Writer | Lover | Noisemaker. Twitter – @atoke_