Temilola Otunla: We All Need Each Other to Be Successful in Life

NYSC was the opportunity I thought I had to be away from my parents. It wasn’t because I hated them, I just wanted to be independent. During registration, I chose Cross River State as my first choice because I thought they wouldn’t know anybody there. I got posted and two days before my trip, my parents called me after I had finished a nice bowl of efo riro and pounded yam. I was still licking my fingers when they announced to me that my cousin who lived in Calabar would pick me up from the airport to take care of me while I was in Calabar. “Cousin ke? I have a cousin in Calabar?” I quickly redeployed back to Abuja because I knew I wouldn’t get any independence if I lived with a family member.

As a child, I always wondered how my parents seemed to know someone in every part of the world. There’s no place in this world where my parents don’t have a friend, family member, former colleague, or just anybody. Well, I’m not sure about Antarctica, but if I ever have to go there, I’m pretty sure there’d be an aunt or uncle they know who’s available to help me when I arrive.

As annoying as it was for my 19-year-old self who was trying to gain independence, it’s something that I consider valuable now that I’m in my 20s. My boss is in her 40s and something she says often that I’ve also heard from older millennials and baby boomers is: “Èyàn lasò”, which means “humans are a covering” in the Yoruba language. The idea behind this phrase is that it’s a fellow human who will lift you when you’re down, help you through difficult situations, and stay with you in the highs and lows. It simply means that you cannot do life successfully without people.

It is interesting how, in our generation, we still talk about the importance of growing our professional network. This is because having a strong network of people can be mutually beneficial for everyone involved. The Yoruba saying, “Èyàn lasò,” also emphasises the importance of being there for others, not just for what we can gain from them, but also for what we can offer. It is about building a sense of community where we support each other, even when it is not convenient. This is why our parents see events like the wedding of a friend’s child as an opportunity to not only celebrate but also to be there for their friends. They understand that their relationship is mutually beneficial and that they may need each other’s help one day.

While relationships should not be seen as transactional, it’s important to acknowledge that we all need each other. Despite the differences in generations, our innate needs remain the same. Baby boomers, millennials, Gen Zs, and future generations all have (will have) a need for people. That’s why we seek out communities of like-minded individuals, even online, where we feel seen, heard, and understood. This need also extends to our place of work. I once quit a job because I didn’t feel like my team had my back. It goes to show how important it is to feel supported in our daily lives. Nobody can do life alone and succeed. We all need each other.

 

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